Read this book.

Seriously. Do it. Heaven is for Real is an easy read book. I read the book in its entirety in two 45 minute settings. I am not generally one to read 'religious' books however this book was passed to my mom and then to me. There are a few things note worthy here.

1.) While I don't know this family specifically it references Ulysses, KS several times and that's my home town.
2.) Other Kansas, Nebraska, and Colorado towns are ones I have been to or know of.
3.) It is written in a way that seems conversational. It feels like a story about people I know.

I feel like these three things paint such a clear image of Heaven. I also feel like this combined with the experiences I have had in the last 10 months I identify with heaven in such new way.

http://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/product_detail.asp?sku=0849946158&title=Heaven_is_for_Real&authors=Todd_Burpo_Sonja_Burpo_Colton_Burpo_and_Lynn_Vincent%20&%20

Birthday!

The old man turned 27 and I helped him celebrate! I was super pumped because he got baby cupcakes! I figure that this would mean I would get one for sure. Baby cupcakes...Baby Corah...it seems obvious to me. But can you believe I didn't get one tiny taste? How rude!

Corah

Lessons I've learned.

• Babies grow ridiculously fast. 
• One can function with less than 12 hours of sleep. I actually love waking up with my baby anytime of the day or night. I still enjoy a nap when the babe sleeps in the afternoon. BUT! I can live without it. WHO KNEW?
• Summer Swaddle Blankets rock! Its a combination between a baby straight jacket and a sleeping bag. All  I know is that Corah falls asleep with in minutes of being in this! Seriously, if you are an expectant mommy or new mommy this is my Baby MUST HAVE.

• People have intense feelings about babies wearing headbands.  I don't care. I put one on Corks in the morning and she wears it until I take it off as I put her to bed. (They are not all as obnoxious as this one.

• There is no point in planning anything. About the point that you make a plan you spend a week in the hospital with a Pulmonary Embolism. Or less dramatically baby has a diaper blow out.
• In respect the the PE...If you literally feel like you are about to die go to the Hospital. Sleeping it out isn't going to fix anything. 
• Also in respect to the PE...Mommies (specifically mine) can fix anything.
• Taking a baby out in Public will give any new mommy an ego about how a-freakng-dorable her baby is.  I am just saying. People tend to complement Corah on her perfectly shaped head. I have no clue what this means. 
• Babies don't break as easily as new mommies think. 
• I could totally be a SAHM.  While this isn't an option for us now.  I love spending every second possible with my babe and will be soaking up my LOA like its nobodies business. 

Tonya

Corah @ 1 month!

Holy moley my baby is a whole month old! I can't hardly believe its been an entire month since the best day of my life. I also can't believe that I haven't posted her birth story, or pictures of the day. I also haven't don't her birth announcements or the newspaper announcements. I also need to send thank you notes and about a million other things! In all fairness I am a bit preoccupied by hospital stays and a princess (and not just the Royal Wedding!) The moral of this windy tale is to look for some big updates soon!

Holding on.

Corah has learned a new trick. She grabs on to things and holds on. I don't think she's actually reaching for something she sees. Just when something grazes her had she grips on with all her might. She started with my hair Sunday and has since been holding on to shirts, blankets, hair, fingers, and her hair bows.

Today is also her four week birthday. Even more insane is that Friday she is officially a month old. I can't believe she is getting so big.

This picture is from Orange Leaf today and is proof that her grip is firm.

Tonya

What I'm up to...

Gamma told mommy that I need to work on being content. Mommy fought today would be a good time to practice. I thought differently. I have to make sure mommy remembers why she calls me Boss Lady! It should be noted she kept telling me I had to try it for five minutes...she picked me up in two. (Can you say pushhhhh overrrrrr.) Mommy doesn't mind me being bossy so much. She says she knows it means I take after her. She says crying builds up lung power so I can be a stellar runner or debater or something!

She did trick me later though...that darn swaddle blanket! I have a weakness for being all warm and cozy. It makes me forget I'm supposed to be in charge!

Corah Lyn
AKA...Boss Lady

Baby Wearing....

Is Awesome! The moby wrap is Corah's end. She falls instantly asleep when snuggled inside! Baby is supposed to be 8lbs to be in a wrap carrier. While Corah isn't quite there yet, we've been experimenting. So far...its love.

I know I have some big updates...like her birth story ect. However, I do have some picture posts to update. I have thus far been successful at taking a picture of Corks every day since her birth. (Most days more than one!) I just need to figure out how to retrodate a post and post with a baby in my arms.

April 24, 2011

EASTER!  This is Corah's very first Holiday and I insisted that she needed an Easter dress.  I am sure that Matthew thought I was insane. However, as soon as I knew that Corah would be here before Easter we went shopping. Matt actually picked it out.

Our first family picture...ignore my pastey whiteness!

April 20, 2011

Still in the hospital...Still hanging out!

Daddy snuggles Corah.

Corah sleeps.

April 23, 2011

Today was busy.  My parents went home after lunch.  I think Mom needs to have Sunday to recuperate. After we went to my best friend/college roommate's wedding. Tanille was one of my bridesmaids and I was soooooooooooooo happy to see her and Ben (finally) tie the knot!

Tanille was soooo gorgeous!

I love these two!

(Ignore my pastey whiteness.  I look rough.)

 Corah slept through the whole darn thing!

One last snuggle with Gramma!

April 22, 2011

Home at last...Home at last.  Corah likes this place much better.



I don't know that I have posted about the PE. (Making a very long story short.) I spent a lot more time in the hospital than expected.  I had the option to go home soon and do lovenex shots until my blood was to a therapeutic state. If I did that then I would have had to give up nursing Corah. Because BF is important to me I choose the Heparin route. This meant that I was on a continuous IV drip. I had 30+ needle sticks for blood tests as well. As it turns out BF sent my metabolism into over drive so the standard level of coumadin just wasn't cutting it.  When they went off of 'protocol' we finally got me to that magic level and I got to come home. I did have a second episode last night were I had a new blood clot go to my lung or the existing one move again. In any case I am glad to be home.

April 21, 2011

We are still hanging out. We had thought we would go home today.  Turns out that didn't happen. Getting my blood to a therapeutic level so it is safe to be removed from the Heparin drip is more difficult than I would have thought.  My doctor expected me to be able to go home on Monday. NO.SUCH.LUCK. I am still so thankful that this wasn't any worse. I am also thankful that I have gotten this extra time with my momma and my baby, Speaking of baby...

This is the dress I made for her.

Proof I am not making any of this up. :)

Don't let this picture fool you.  She isnt always sleeping peacefully.

Well, she is here too. 

I told you so. 

April 19, 2011

We are still at the Hospital! My mom is taking a couple of sick days so Matt doesn't have to take unpaid leave from work. She is teaching me soooo much about how to be a mom with out even knowing it! This is a look into what we are up to.

Watching T.V. while holding the baby.

Taking pictures of the baby. 

On a side note.  When my mom went home after Corah was born I cried.  I was soooooo sad that she had to go home.  She said she could stay but that if she went home she would be able to come back in May or June.  I was sad because I didn't feel like she had a chance to teach me anything about being a mommy.  Little did I know that it was all part of God's plan.  If she had stayed she wouldn't have been able to spend this week with me.  Right now I am not allowed to do much more than walk to the bathroom.  She has been amazing helping with Corah.  She even spends the night with Corah and I. Mom said she told dad on the way home last time that she felt like it was to easy. She had really thought I would have needed  a C-Section or something. (Not that she was wishing bad for me..its just sorta how things were going for me.) This must have been what she was 'feeling.'

April 18, 2011

We are still hanging out at the hospital!

To be honest...this hospital bores me. 

April 17, 2011

Snuggle buddies. 

Sooo Sweet!

Mommy actually missed taking a picture of Corah today.  Thankfully, Daddy took a few on his phone while he was holding Corah while she fell asleep.

Pulmonary Embolism.

Its 3 AM on Friday morning. I wake up to the most intense pain in my life.  The pain seems to be coming from my back. I get out of bed and try laying on the floor. Thinking I've got a nerve pinched or something twisted. That provides no relief and I realize the pain really seems to be in my chest. I wake Matt and try a hot shower and then pumping. The squeezing searing pain is only getting worse. This is the point that I decided we're going to the ER.

Matt gets Corah out of her bassinet and into her carseat. By the grace of God she doesn't wake up. We get to the ER and I somehow manage to walk in. After an EKG and blood work I have an X-ray the doctor comes in and asks a million medical history questions. He tells me the likely problem is a blood clot. He orders a CAT scan or an MRI. Im not sure which.

Still scared. Fairly confident I'm dying and being given no answers. The pain medicine only put me in a fog and barely took the edge off. This causes me to have a panic attack as soon as im out of the MRI machine. Im returned to my ER room and having Corah and Matt near calms me. Three EKG's, an IV, and a half a dozen blood draws later I'm still waiting for answers. The doctor tells me my heart and lungs look good. He tells me if the next EKG comes back normal we will be good to go.

GOOD TO GO? I was having the worse pain in my life. This 8 days after I spent 29 hours having back labor and then delivering a child. I think I may be familiar with pain at this point. I was not okay with being sent home with no explanation waiting for it to happen again.

Thankfully the last EKG came after shift change. The second doctor had a second radiologist look at my scans. Without background information the second radiologist found some kind of blocked pathway in my left lung.

Pulmonary Embolism.

From some part of Pregnancy, L&D, or Postpartum I had a blood clot travel to my left lung and block off a 'branch' of veins or blood vessels. Because of the risk of the blood clot breaking away and moving to my heart I am on an IV blood thinner until a pill form of blood thinner can kick in.

The good of all of this is that in unusual Tonya fashion I didn't roll over and try and sleep it off. The second is that my mom didn't stay this week so she would have the time to come back later. My amazing parents also dropped everything to come to Topeka to be her and help.  My awesome momma is going to stay the week to help out too. Also i am very lucky that none of drugs I've been given will enter my milk supply. This means I can still feed Corah. I am also very thankful that they have me in a private room so I (with help from Matt or my mom) can keep Corah with me.

The bad is that this is likely a 5 day hospital stay. It could also potentially be the start of blood thinners for the rest of my life.  It means I am definitely not allowed to take any sort of oral birth control ever in the future. There is also a reasonable chance that I would have to give myself a shot twice a day when/if we ever decide to have more babies. (This part has been information overload for a first time momma of an 8 day old baby.)

April 16, 2011

Thankfully, when Mommy was checked into the hospital they let Corah stay too. They even had a baby bed from the nursery up in the room on the heart floor before she got there! 

I'm not sure how to flip this picture...but I am hanging out in the Hospital. Gramma Stein gave me a bath...from a cup. Strange.

April 15, 2011

Today was a big day. Mommy went back to the hospital at 3 A.M. Corah slept a solid six hours during the night. Even when Mommy woke up, loudly cried in pain. Even when Daddy got Corah out of bed, put her in the carseat, put her in the car, and carried her into the hospital.

This is photographic proof of sleeping.

And again.

April 14, 2011

I am one sleepy baby. I am waking up to eat and have a diaper change about every two hours. I usually go right back to sleep though! Mommy and Daddy wont complain about that!

One Week Post Corks.

This blog is really a record of our lives. I have to say I am honestly very happy with my weight gain and loss in this pregnancy adventure.

April 13, 2011

I like hanging out with my Daddy! He likes to take off my pretty head bands.

Mommy likes to put them right back on!

Before...

Some how after 16(+) hours of back labor I thought to take a self portrait on our way to the hospital. This is the second to last photo I have of being pregnant. I'm undecided of the I'm-having-a-contraction-photo will make bloggey world.

*I know that these more recent posts are going to be a bit out of order. However, blogging from my phone with a sweet princess in my arms makes for a new mommy fog.*

April 12, 2011

Its my one week birthday! I don't do much but  do like sleeping and going outside in the warm spring air! We even found baby bunnies today! Mommy also took some pictures of me while I slept!

Snug as a bug in a rug.

Small Update.

Life in the last week has been INSANE. As I type this I am rocking my sweet baby Corah. I can tell you that I am in some kind of new mommy fog. Maybe its the hormones racing through my body or a lack of sleep but I don't think its hit me yet. We were scheduled for an induction for tomorrow morning until 'Boss Lady' decided to come early. I think part of me is still kinda expecting my parents to show up and for us to make a plan for tomorrow.

Instead I am holding my 5 day old baby. She is the most Amazing little thing ever. Words cannot explain the excitement, fear, love, anxiety, and happiness I feel. I am a very proud momma and Matthew is over the moon with her.

In the next few days I plan to sit down and put finger to key and write Corah's birth story. I can tell you a large chunk of it is hilarious. I am sure that I am one of the few people on earth that would say her 29 hours(+) of back labor was hilarious.

I am off to feed (*wince*) my sweet baby. I suppose I should leave you with a few pictures. Tune in later this week for her birth story.

Tonya

P.S. We have been blessed again. Corah's jaundice level has dropped well below the dangerous level.

April 11, 2011

Corah sleeping in the portable crib thats been used for most babies in the Durler family.

I am so stinkin adorable, 

April 10, 2011

Today was a busy day!

I went to lunch with Grandma and Grandpa Sholar. (After all the crazy Stein's went home.)

I was soooo sleep after everyone went home Mommy and Daddy couln't wake me up to eat!
So Mommy called Gramma Stein said if its been over 4 hours Mommy should get me naked.
This is when Mommy and Daddy discovered I like being naked. (And that I like having my leg folded up on me!) 

Being naked didn't work so I got a bath...not cool people!

Well, that woke me up for sure!